A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn’t have a stitch of clothing on. [...]
My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.
A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, “You can go home now.”
An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he replies. “I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?” The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I [...]
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking [...]
A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.” “Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can’t see to pour the coffee.” “I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck.” “My blood pressure pills make [...]
Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other. “It’s windy,” said one. “No, it’s Thursday,” said the next. “So am I,” said the third. “Let’s go and have a drink!”
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to [...]
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, [...]
Seventy-two-year-old Edgar recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said Edgar was doing “fairly well” for his age. A little concerned about that comment, Edgar couldn’t resist asking the doctor, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” The doctor asked, “Well, do you smoke or [...]
