A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was [...]
A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Afterward a friend borrowed the truss to wear for his physical. At the end of the examination the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers. “Does that mean I’m medically exempt?” he [...]
- Who likes music? – asks a commander. – Two soldiers step forward. – All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 13,” one declared proudly, “was a drummer boy at Shiloh.” “Mine,” boasts another, “went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.” “I’m the only soldier in [...]
I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control center that was surrounded by several Minuteman II silos. The facility and the silos were separated by several miles. We were not allowed to leave the “capsule” until relieved the next day, and we [...]
An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes, man, I’ll [...]
This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint. He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks. “WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT??” the drill sergeant hollered. In a quivering voice, the [...]
Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q. “Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?” A. “Because sheep would be too obvious”
The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall [...]
