Men are like shag

Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.

Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

What does it mean to come home to a man who’ll give you some love and tenderness? You’re in the wrong house.

Men are like old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom? A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.