A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. “Please describe,” said his attorney, “the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife’s fidelity.” “Well, I’m pretty much on the road all week,” the man testified. “So naturally when I am home, I’m attentive to the wife.” “One Sunday [...]
Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? A: Way to go team.
A young woman goes to her doctor complaining that the insides of her upper thighs have turned green. The doctor examined her and asked her if by any chance she went out with a Romany. When she said yes the doctor said “Well tell him his ear rings aren’t real gold!!!”
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets!
Pinnochio had been getting complaints from his girlfriend. “Every time we make love,” she said, “I get splinters.” So Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the carpenter, for advice. “Sandpaper,” said the carpenter. “That’s what you need.” So Pinocchio took some sheets of sandpaper and went home. A few weeks later the carpenter bumped [...]
Why did the condom cross the road? Because it was pissed off.
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
Whats the definition of love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
