Q: How many Accountants
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ? A: None-just assume it’s changed.
A patient was at her doctor’s office after
A patient was at her doctor’s office after undergoing a complete physical exam. The doctor said, “I have some very grave news for you. You only have six months to live.” The patient asked, “Oh doctor, what should I do?” The doctor replied, “Marry an accountant.” “Will that make me live longer?” asked the patient. [...]
What’s the most wicked thing a group of
What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What’s an extroverted accountant?
What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
What does an accountant say when
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
How do you know when an
How do you know when an accountant’s on holidays? He doesn’t wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.
Who was the first accountant?
Who was the first accountant? Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
The accountant’s prayer: Lord, help me be
The accountant’s prayer: Lord, help me be more relaxed about insignificant details, starting tomorrow at 10.53:16 am, Eastern Daylight Saving Time.
A tourist, visiting a small town in
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”. The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, “As a soldier, that [...]
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. “Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” “Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every [...]
